Post by perhapsormaybe on Apr 22, 2010 20:51:13 GMT -5
Author's note I wrote this back during the break between season 1 part 1 and season 1 part two, which explains why Sue isn't Cheerios coach at the beginning (as I had no idea how they were going to get her back for it). For now it's a one shot, but a few reviews requested I continue, so I may. We'll see. This is meant to be comedy.
A few weeks had passed since sectionals, and of course, since Will Schuester and Emma Pillsbury had officially started dating. The Glee kids walked around with a new sense of pride, and of course Rachel seemed to practically swell with even more confidence.
It all made Sue sick.
But she was not without her ideas. Sure, she'd lost her position with the Cheerios, her status, and was now down to coaching mere P.E. classes, but she was not the type to sit around and let Will have the last laugh.
And that was why she was waiting in the hallway after school, eyeing the school counselor's office. She'd forced a student to keep Will occupied after class (the threat of failing P.E. and how pathetic that could make a person look was more than enough for the poor student in question to go along with her scheme), and now she was waiting for Emma to emerge.
Finally, the redhead came out, looking around, clearly expecting Will. "Oh…hello, Sue. Did you need something?" The forced politeness was obvious. Sue ignored it.
"Well, counselor, it seems to me I need some counseling. Can I borrow you for a minute?"
Emma looked around again, warily, clearly hoping for someone to save her. No one came. "Oh, all right. I guess I still have some time…" Emma gave in. "What is it now? Have you given into depression since Will got the upper hand and you lost everything?" She sounded almost hopeful.
"Nope, nope, I feel just chipper," Sue smiled, and walked into Emma's office, dragging the poor counselor along with her before closing the door.
"Shouldn't we go back in the hallway? You know…where there are witnesses…?"
"I'm only going to say this once, Ingrid-"
"Emma,"
Like always, the correction was ignored. "Erma," Sue planted her arm against the wall, far too close to Emma for her comfort. "You are awfully cute…sure, I usually don't go for the spindly little type, and your deranged obsession with cleanliness could be a sign that you have something to hide, and your eyes are inhumanely large…but I'm game to try it if you are."
"To try what, Sue?"
Sue chuckled. "Come on, the fact you're with Schuester of all people…either you're secretly attracted to women or you just really like effeminate men. I'm guessing it's the first, and I have to say...he's not the best cover to choose. Makes it a little too obvious."
"Sue, I'm not entirely sure you realize this, but I can say with absolute certainty that I'm straight. And you're a woman."
" 'Woman' is really just man with 'wo' at the beginning…as in 'whoa, that was amazing'…I'm more of a man than Schuester will ever be."
"Will is a wonderful man and I'm quite happy with him," Emma insisted.
"Whatever. Just be thinking about it. When you get sick of all the extra estrogen that so-called 'man' produces and you're ready for someone who can handle you better…let me know. I'll be waiting, Emily," Sue exited the room, leaving a stunned Emma behind. "Why hello there, Will, your perm's looking a little flat there."
Will ignored her and pushed past her to enter the room and see Emma. "Emma…are you okay? You look shocked…did Sue do something to you?"
"Er…not really," Emma said, shaking it off. "But I think she's even more willing to try anything to stop you these days."
"Tell me about it…" Will sighed. "You ready to go?"
"Oh yeah…it's been a very long day…"
The End
A few weeks had passed since sectionals, and of course, since Will Schuester and Emma Pillsbury had officially started dating. The Glee kids walked around with a new sense of pride, and of course Rachel seemed to practically swell with even more confidence.
It all made Sue sick.
But she was not without her ideas. Sure, she'd lost her position with the Cheerios, her status, and was now down to coaching mere P.E. classes, but she was not the type to sit around and let Will have the last laugh.
And that was why she was waiting in the hallway after school, eyeing the school counselor's office. She'd forced a student to keep Will occupied after class (the threat of failing P.E. and how pathetic that could make a person look was more than enough for the poor student in question to go along with her scheme), and now she was waiting for Emma to emerge.
Finally, the redhead came out, looking around, clearly expecting Will. "Oh…hello, Sue. Did you need something?" The forced politeness was obvious. Sue ignored it.
"Well, counselor, it seems to me I need some counseling. Can I borrow you for a minute?"
Emma looked around again, warily, clearly hoping for someone to save her. No one came. "Oh, all right. I guess I still have some time…" Emma gave in. "What is it now? Have you given into depression since Will got the upper hand and you lost everything?" She sounded almost hopeful.
"Nope, nope, I feel just chipper," Sue smiled, and walked into Emma's office, dragging the poor counselor along with her before closing the door.
"Shouldn't we go back in the hallway? You know…where there are witnesses…?"
"I'm only going to say this once, Ingrid-"
"Emma,"
Like always, the correction was ignored. "Erma," Sue planted her arm against the wall, far too close to Emma for her comfort. "You are awfully cute…sure, I usually don't go for the spindly little type, and your deranged obsession with cleanliness could be a sign that you have something to hide, and your eyes are inhumanely large…but I'm game to try it if you are."
"To try what, Sue?"
Sue chuckled. "Come on, the fact you're with Schuester of all people…either you're secretly attracted to women or you just really like effeminate men. I'm guessing it's the first, and I have to say...he's not the best cover to choose. Makes it a little too obvious."
"Sue, I'm not entirely sure you realize this, but I can say with absolute certainty that I'm straight. And you're a woman."
" 'Woman' is really just man with 'wo' at the beginning…as in 'whoa, that was amazing'…I'm more of a man than Schuester will ever be."
"Will is a wonderful man and I'm quite happy with him," Emma insisted.
"Whatever. Just be thinking about it. When you get sick of all the extra estrogen that so-called 'man' produces and you're ready for someone who can handle you better…let me know. I'll be waiting, Emily," Sue exited the room, leaving a stunned Emma behind. "Why hello there, Will, your perm's looking a little flat there."
Will ignored her and pushed past her to enter the room and see Emma. "Emma…are you okay? You look shocked…did Sue do something to you?"
"Er…not really," Emma said, shaking it off. "But I think she's even more willing to try anything to stop you these days."
"Tell me about it…" Will sighed. "You ready to go?"
"Oh yeah…it's been a very long day…"
The End
