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Post by perhapsormaybe on Mar 23, 2009 16:35:10 GMT -5
Basically, if you have that sort of "I need to get this off my chest" moment, it needs to go here, especially if its the real world getting you down.
For right now, I'm frustrated. I think Cris forgot to pay his phone bill, because I've been trying to call him for days now, and I keep getting a message that he's not taking phone calls. I'm just worried something will happen to him and I won't know, or something will happen with the baby and there'll be no way to tell him.
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Post by fierysue on Apr 20, 2009 21:28:04 GMT -5
 I hope that everything's all right with him for your sake, Mel. Everything will be all right (Cardcaptor Sakura moment over) - hopefully. I'm happy that I dropped out of uni for the term. I need my R&R. Will be going back in August, though (med school no less). Gotta hate stress... |
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Post by perhapsormaybe on Apr 21, 2009 11:40:28 GMT -5
Med school? Wow, that's impressive.
He still hasn't paid his bill, but we've been emailing. He can't afford to pay for a hotel, so he keeps repeating over and over that I need to talk my parents into letting him stay here. I don't know how many times I have explained to him now that they've said no, and they're not going to budge on it. I know that's not really fair to him for him not to be able to see his own son being born, but my parents have the right not to help if they don't want to...and they've made it very clear that they won't help him. I'm frustrated because I can see both sides of the argument (his and theirs), and while I do think they're being unfair, I know why they're doing it.
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Post by fierysue on Apr 21, 2009 21:19:59 GMT -5
If I'm not being too impertinent, is there a reason why your parents don't want him to stay? (You don't have to answer, and I'm sorry if I'm being overly inquisitive). It IS awful though, because you're being put in the middle of two groups of people you love and respect.
At any rate, yeah, I'm going to med school. I'm doing a graduate degree (but might consider switching). Truthfully, my parents both have separate views on what program to take. I finally considered taking my mom's suggested to do an undergraduate degree first and then do the real thing. This will take 5.5-6 years, although if I did another way (med as undergraduate) it would take 4.5-5.5 years. My dad was disappointed because he thinks I'm only doing this to please my mom, but I know if I chose another way, my mom would not let me have a moment's rest and accuse me of trying to please my dad. The point is, I really didn't know which one to take! As long as I become a doctor (which has been a lifelong dream since I was 10), I don't mind! I'm just glad to be in a program, and IMU (the med school in Malaysia I'm going to attend) is a good med school anyway!
I think I overdid it with my rant.
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takashirika
Plumber in Training
I do not know what to do for my future career! @@
Posts: 81
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Post by takashirika on Apr 22, 2009 0:33:27 GMT -5
That's cool, going to med school.
I like this guy, but I'm not sure if he likes me too...I mean...I doubt he likes me back, but my friends thinks he likes me too...And i'm also thinking he likes me, but probably as a friend, and I am so confused about this whole situation... I mean...I'm not sure if I flirt with him and he flirts back...I don't even know how to flirt... And this is the actual crush I ever talked to...The last crush I liked in gr.8 was well....I don't talk to him...So now..I am very confused with this situation. And I told 3 people, which turned to 8, then 10, and now 11... and I even asked my friend's boyfriend about what happened, like what does it mean if the guy walks you to class? and even about the trying to take pic of me on his phone... So..if anyone wants to help me...You can if you want.
(sorry if I was wasting your time on reading that..I just wanted to say it so part of my wondering would leave...)
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Post by fierysue on Apr 22, 2009 0:57:52 GMT -5
Haha, lol. That's so cute. I have NEVER had this problem before though (for some reason, guys mostly think of me as a younger sister instead of potential GF material, and it doesn't help that I don't really fall for guys easily - the last crush I had was last year in A-Levels, or Pre-U for those who haven't heard of it, but I had a knack for solving my firends' love lives - how cliched). BUT, take it from me, if a guy walks you to class and tries to take a pic of you with his phone, trust me, that means he's interested. Maybe not a full-blown crush, but he's DEFINITELY interested...  Now you've got me analysing the situation with my last crush (which, as I said, was a year ago - pathetic, right?). But a word of advice: if you're serious on the guy, just ask him out or something - as friends, if you don't want to seem desperate. He'll think he might have a chance, and if it doesn't work, you can hide behind the guise of friendship. Don't do nothing about it; if you do nothing, it'll end up in nothing. Hope that helped...  |
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takashirika
Plumber in Training
I do not know what to do for my future career! @@
Posts: 81
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Post by takashirika on Apr 22, 2009 1:00:42 GMT -5
Haha, lol. That's so cute. I have NEVER had this problem before though (for some reason, guys mostly think of me as a younger sister instead of potential GF material, and it doesn't help that I don't really fall for guys easily - the last crush I had was last year in A-Levels, or Pre-U for those who haven't heard of it). BUT, take it from me, if a guy walks you to class and tries to take a pic of you with his phone, trust me, that means he's interested. Maybe not a full-blown crush, but he's DEFINITELY interested... Now you've got me analysing the situation with my last crush (which, as I said, was a year ago - pathetic, right?). But a word of advice: if you're serious on the guy, just ask him out or something - as friends, if you don't want to seem desperate. He'll think he might have a chance, and if it doesn't work, you can hide behind the guise of friendship. Don't do nothing about it; if you do nothing, it'll end up in nothing. Hope that helped... Thanks you! That totally helped a lot! =D |
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Post by fierysue on Apr 22, 2009 1:36:02 GMT -5
Glad it was helpful.
Anyway, while I'm at this board, I'll list something that has been bugging me -
***WARNING! SENSITIVE TOPICS TO BE DISCUSSED. PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED!***
I hate is the fact that Western media, the most prevalent one (e.g. CNN, BBC, etc.) are making such a big fuss about Pres. Ahmedinejad (i.e. the Iranian president for those of you who don't know or who thankfully did not catch all the hype). I swear, if they're going to misquote him again and twist his words around I will scream red murder.
I hesitated about posting this, because I was afraid. I'm sorry if you guys feel offended. I don't mean to offend, and I hope I didn't ruin the board for you guys.
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Post by Lady Lasa on Apr 22, 2009 7:02:39 GMT -5
That's cool, going to med school. I like this guy, but I'm not sure if he likes me too...I mean...I doubt he likes me back, but my friends thinks he likes me too...And i'm also thinking he likes me, but probably as a friend, and I am so confused about this whole situation... I mean...I'm not sure if I flirt with him and he flirts back...I don't even know how to flirt... And this is the actual crush I ever talked to...The last crush I liked in gr.8 was well....I don't talk to him...So now..I am very confused with this situation. And I told 3 people, which turned to 8, then 10, and now 11... and I even asked my friend's boyfriend about what happened, like what does it mean if the guy walks you to class? and even about the trying to take pic of me on his phone... So..if anyone wants to help me...You can if you want. (sorry if I was wasting your time on reading that..I just wanted to say it so part of my wondering would leave...) I agree that this definitely points to the fact that he's interested. I've been out of the dating scene for a while (just hit the five-year mark with my fiance), but just in my personal experience from when I was in school, he sounds like he likes you. Guys are funny at that age, they're still building confidence and a lot of them are still new to dating. I'm going to echo the advice you received already: ask him out, even as friends. If you like him, then don't just sit back and wait for him to ask, especially if he seems like he's not sure of himself. Rant away. I can only speak for myself, but it takes a LOT to offend me. The media in general is a joke these days (like LolFox News). It's gotten to the point where I just tend to ignore them. Living outside of Philadelphia means that there really aren't that many pleasant stories covered anyway. Try not to let it get to you. |
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Post by fierysue on Apr 22, 2009 8:11:51 GMT -5
I might be a bit biased, I suppose, but he makes some good valid points, and it bugs me that people just say, "Oh, he's saying bad things again," without actually listening to the points he makes, which some are pretty valid. But let's talk about more cheerful things: I forgot to say that this doesn't really work on guys like Kevin...  Sorry, couldn't resist. But don't worry, the guy doesn't SEEM like a Kevin. |
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Post by Lady Lasa on Apr 22, 2009 8:16:33 GMT -5
That's the problem with the media though. No matter what outlet you watch, they will always be biased towards one side or the other and they present it to show that bias. Too few people will actually take the time to think for themselves and will instead swallow whatever the news tells them. Again, another reason why I don't watch the news.
Anyways... more cheerful things...
He doesn't sound like a Kevin, and since he's already showing interest (along with the fact that in this day and age, it isn't uncommon for the girl to make the first move), I think that it's worth pursuing .
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Post by perhapsormaybe on Apr 22, 2009 12:53:16 GMT -5
Takashikira: Walking you to class is *always* a good sign. I can't guarantee that he likes you, but it certainly sounds like he does.
Fierysue: Rants are always allowed here, even political ones, because I feel the members here can be trusted not to berate or yell at one another. So anytime you're feeling annoyed with something the media's doing or anything like that, you can rant about it here. I trust everyone here not to start personal attacks, so it's fine.
As for what you asked about with Cris....there's a couple reasons (and unfortunately, they are why I can't really argue with my parents, because they have good points). One is that he fell out of contact with me for about a month (because of his cell bill and then he wasn't answering the emails from me). My mom thought he was trying to skip out on child support. After that, it's that they know that he's needed help making rent in the past, and that I just out and out paid both of our shares of the rent almost every month while I was living with him, and that I bought *everyone's* groceries. He has two jobs now, and apparently he's doing well enough to save some up to come down here, but my parents are still worried about the child support issue. Mom's actually really angry because he hasn't asked if I needed anything. And I can't provide answers to their questions about where he's going and what he's going to do about all of this, because he won't answer my questions on it. The only thing I know for now is that he might move to Colorado with his dad (except his dad's in the hospital right now, so that's not for sure). When I emailed asking for more specifics, he said something about getting us both there, which kind of worried me, because he hadn't asked my feelings about being there or suggested anyway to get baby there as well.
On the other hand, I've found out that my dad didn't really want me to move here for the reasons I thought. See, I actually thought it was because he wanted to make sure his grandson was well taken care of. That may be a part of it, but the major thing was actually that mom was thinking of staying in Nevada. Dad knew if he got me to come out here, mom would come. Part of their reasoning is unfair - because they're associating him with Tim (mom's first husband and my half sister's real father) and Ricky (my half sister's husband - soon to be ex, and my niece's father). Shell (half sister) put in for full custody, but was trying to be nice....she even tried to fill out the paper work so he wouldn't have to pay child support (she found out she wasn't able to, so just filled it out so that he would only have to pay the lowest amount - only about 100 dollars. And she was even going to give him that money back). Well, he won't sign the divorce papers, he refuses to give Aaliyah back some very expensive toys my parents and our grandmother bought for her, and one time when he called, Shell asked if he wanted to talk to Aaliyah...and he called her the 'c-word', just for asking that. My mom's exhusband wasn't quite so bad, but he did claim Shell wasn't his, and that mom must have cheated on him. Then when he finally accepted that she was his, he got my mom arrested once for kidnapping (they let mom go inside and get the paper to prove she had custody, so the cop did let her go without taking her to jail). So part of it is my mother's distrust of men, especially men that get anyone in our familiy pregnant.
Compounding the stress and related to it but not fully is my full blood sister, Lauren. Lauren likes to lie and be the center of attention (this is a girl who's claimed to have breast cancer, to have been raped and gotten pregnant but lost the baby when she fell down the stairs and that our father is not her real father. She even told her old girlfriend that she had a twin brother that died in a car crash, and that her 'real' father won't talk to her anymore because of it. All of these are, of course, lies).
Well, Lauren is...crazy, basically. She found out about my pregnancy when she came home for Christmas, and made two different remarks about how "You wouldn't be treating me like this if I was pregnant...".
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Shell called me and told me Lauren is claiming to be ...well, married. A contract marriage only, to get extra benefits from the army. Fast forward another two weeks or so? Now she's telling Shell she's trying to divorce the guy in order to marry another guy that she's trying to get pregnant with. My mom does *not* know about the marriages, but she knows about the pregnancy thing.
As I said...Lauren's crazy. I know I shouldn't worry about it, because it could very easily be another one of her stories, but when she sees someone getting attention, she often emulates their behavior. I worry more about the kid in this situation...Lauren could be a great mother, because she really does care a lot. But for right now, she *loves* her alcohol and her cigarettes and she loves going to parties. I'm not sure she's thinking about how she'd have to give all of those up (in fact, I'm almost positive that if she succeeds in getting pregnant, that she won't give any of it up).
Okay, my rant about my family is over.
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Post by fierysue on Apr 22, 2009 20:16:15 GMT -5
If it's not too rude to comment, I just feel that what with all the experiences your parents have gone through, they're just worried about you (and the baby), and they seem (SEEM!) to be worried that he is unreliable, and that this would hurt you and the baby in the future. But about your family...  It's awful about your sister Shell and her ex-husband. Shell seems like such a sweet person, anyhow. I can see how Lauren might be adding to the stress. Is she an older sister or a younger? She seems younger, but I wouldn't know. Perhaps she feels left out that she found out so late about the baby - there's something in what you said that makes me wonder whether she could be a doting aunt. At any rate, I'm sorry to have brought up what must have been a really uncomfortable topic. |
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Post by perhapsormaybe on Apr 23, 2009 11:03:06 GMT -5
Both of my sisters are older. I'm the 'baby'. The reason I was asked not to tell her was because we found out she might have tried for a baby back when Shell got pregnant (and she was still in high school back then). She was in a part of the army that she would have gotten kicked out for if she got pregnant, so my parents asked in order to make sure she secured her future first.
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Post by fierysue on Apr 24, 2009 1:50:52 GMT -5
She's in the army? That's interesting.
I didn't know you could be kicked out of the army if you were pregnant in some cases, but I suppose it's for your own health and good.
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Sorry, couldn't resist.
It's awful about your sister Shell and her ex-husband. Shell seems like such a sweet person, anyhow. I can see how Lauren might be adding to the stress. Is she an older sister or a younger? She seems younger, but I wouldn't know. Perhaps she feels left out that she found out so late about the baby - there's something in what you said that makes me wonder whether she could be a doting aunt.