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Post by perhapsormaybe on Apr 30, 2009 14:20:39 GMT -5
Careful there ^_-
So...I've only had 2 people who apparently did not realize what 'parody' meant. One replied with a confused emoticon (and I will say here, I despise emoticon reviews. I get that the smiley face means you liked the story, but I would really rather get a long winded negative review than that smiley face), and one told me the story didn't make sense. Everyone else seemed to think it was funny, and I got a request to make fun of OCs, so that'll probably be next chapter.
Working ideas out for this, Mask, and Perfect Enemy. Hopefully I'll update one of them soon.
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Post by perhapsormaybe on May 6, 2009 14:13:35 GMT -5
Author's note: Opting not to go for a linear story. Feel way too much like gouging into Mary Sues right now. Thus....(Be warned. Julie bashing ahead, because the people who write their MarySue/Ben fanfics are often avid Julie haters)
Part 3: Mary Sue, The Amazing.
Ben sighed. Irritated that neither Gwen nor Kevin looked up, he sighed again. Still no reaction.
"You two don't care about me," He pouted, his lower lip jutting out.
"Tell it to the new girl you keep going on and on about," Kevin snipped, wiping off the hood of his car.
"Wait...what happened to Julie?" Gwen asked.
"She moved away," Ben said, shrugging. "Didn't want a long distance relationship."
"Ah. Umm...aren't you moving a little fast?"
"No, because this girl's amazingly beautiful and perfect and a million times better than Julie."
"Oh. I guess it's all right then."
"But she doesn't know about my powers," Ben said, thinking it over. "And I'm not sure she'd understand...fighting aliens is kind of a weird hobby."
"Whatever, Tennyson, I'm sick of hearing about your problems," Kevin tucked part of the washrag he'd been using into his pocket. "I'm going to go grab a soda. Are either of you coming?"
"I'll go," Gwen agreed, hopping into the backseat. Ben shook his head.
"Nah, I'll walk home."
"Suit yourself," Kevin agreed, getting into the driver's seat and pulling away.
As Ben made his way to the sidewalk, something way too overly convenient happened - there was the new girl, standing there. She wasn't faced towards him, she was seeming to focus on a tree in the distance. There was a cat caught in the upper branches, and from her hand shot forth a sort of energy that grabbed the cat and set it down.
"You have powers?" Ben blurted out, accidentally alerting her to his presence.
"Oh...yeah...hi, Ben," The girl blushed, looking down.
"You're Mary, right? From school?"
She nodded. "I guess this is kind of weird for you to be seeing..." she pulled a plumber's badge from her back pocket. "I'm half alien. Half anodite, more specifically...."
"I'm a quarter anodite! That's kind of spooky. ...you have a really similar power to my cousin." Ben could not believe his luck. She was amazingly endowed with special powers herself, and she was the one he'd been thinking about earlier.
Having powers made her cooler than Julie, right? Much more likeable. Plus she didn't wear a stupid pink hoodie with everything.
That moment, a DNAlien attacked. Before Ben could even transform, Mary had already finished fighting it, and was calmly eating a sandwich she pulled seemingly out of nowhere.
So, she was also a lot stronger.
"What the heck, Tennyson?" Kevin and Gwen had come back, both of them with a soda cup in their hands. They looked from Mary to the DNAlien and then back at Ben. "What happened?"
"Uh...she beat him?" Ben said, shrugging.
"Oooh! I have a new best friend!" Gwen proclaimed, glomping onto Mary in a very not-Gwen way.
"Great, girl stuff," Kevin said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"You're just upset because you like Gwen and don't want me monopolizing her time." Mary explained. "Now tell her the truth or else..." her hand began to glow and Kevin looked momentarily frightened.
"...wow. You're right. Even though everyone else already knows I like Gwen and have hinted at it, your amazing way of putting it has made me realize the whole truth. Thank you, Mary. Thank you," Kevin shook her hand enthusiastically, then grabbed Gwen and kissed her on the spot.
"I guess you're part of the team now!" Ben said cheerfully. "And..maybe my new girlfriend?"
"Of course!"
"So, what's your last name?"
"Su. Why?"
"Just wondering."
The End
I don't think this one was quite as funny as the others, but I think I got the point across well enough. *stabs another Mary Sue as it pops up* Another thing that annoys me in fanfics - Ben still being a whiny kid, even though it's in Alien Force. No. He's not like that anymore, stop doing that to him! *sobs* They blew it up! They blew it up, those ba----....wrong thing. ^_-
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Post by Lady Lasa on May 7, 2009 19:35:58 GMT -5
That part made me laugh really hard. If I had a dollar for everytime I've seen stuff like that in fanfics... Well, I might be able to quit my job.
Very well done and absolutely hilarious.
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Post by perhapsormaybe on Jul 18, 2009 0:46:42 GMT -5
In Which Kevin Poetically Angsts All Over Us, Making a Huge Mess and Ticking Off Those Of Us Which Understand His Character, While Simultaneously Mocking a No Talent Hack Who Somehow Managed To Be Published - In Third Person, Naturally, As We Cannot Make Kevin Say These Out Loud in an Effort to Pretend That We Are Still In Character[/i] (Yes, that is what I'm calling this chapter)
Oh, my sweet, wonderful, beautiful, amazing, breath taking angel. How I long for you. How I wish to hold you, but I fear so much that you would break...
We can not be together. I'd only hurt you. Despite the fact I keep hitting on you, keep implying I'd like to go out with you and didn't turn you down when you wanted me to take you to the dance, I know deep down in my heart that it's not meant to be.
I am an ex con. A monster. That monster still lurks inside me...it hungers for me to hurt you.
Well...not physically. I'm not that big of a bastard anymore...
But I would hurt you. I would betray your trust, and go back to tech dealing, to stealing...even though the latter I've done in front of you on at least two occasions, and while you didn't seem to approve, you didn't tell me not too either....
You must have fallen from heaven..
No...
Wait.
I'm supposed to be the fallen one, you're the angel. I can't mix those up....
Your beauty amazes me. Your emerald green eyes sparkle, taking my breath away. You are dazzling. You are an angel, a sparkling, sweet, beautiful angel. And I..I am as still so monstrous, on the verge of becoming that hideous being again at any moment if I'm not careful.
So I kept my distance. Watching her, waiting...wishing I could be with her, noting every little thing about her, yet somehow still needing someone else to tell me what her favorite flowers are.
But one day...one day she will be my Angel. My Pumpkin. My Babe. My Sweetheart...she will be all mine..... Whenever he overcame that damn monster...
I sighed and went back to working on my car as my thoughts ran unbridled through my head, the emotions dancing there if I could only grasp them for a moment.
I frowned in chagrin.
My mind once again turned towards the day we'd met. Maybe the first time...when I barely said a word to her and was more interested in playing video games with her cousin...but still, I loved her even then!
....Or maybe it was later, when I tried to kill her....but she'd seen through the monstrosity back then, right?....
Well, at least she could..once I wasn't a monster anymore, anyways. The day Ben put the omnitrix back on.
I'd reexamined it over and over again, usually noting the exact same things...rehashing them over and over again, like some played out story that seems to be written using different amount of pretty words, but nothing new is ever brought to light.
She had saved me that day. Surely, if she hadn't told him that people could get hurt, he'd have never helped them later on.
Despite the fact that he'd admitted later he was doing it for the memory of his father...
But that didn't matter right now! Only Gwen did. I cringed as I thought of the time Morningstar had attempted to steal her from me. The jealousy I'd felt over it still sets me off. How dare that guy? I think next time we fight Tinkerbell, I'll hit him an extra time. Just as a precaution. Just because Morningstar had become Darkstar and was still evil didn't mean the guy wouldn't try to steal Gwen again, despite clearly only wanting her powers the first time we'd met.
The strange part was that I know that Gwen wants to be with me. I can not fathom how that sweet, angelic, amazing angel from heaven wants to be with me. I guess she can see right through me, see who I can be.
I need to be with her....But I'm so afraid of the monster I could become again....
Eh, maybe I'll date Ben instead.
The End
Yeah...sooo....I hate the nicknames people have Kevin calling Gwen. I also hate how almost every angsty story has him calling her 'his angel'. And all the other things I pointed out and made fun of.
...I have way too much fun writing these.
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Post by Lady Lasa on Jul 18, 2009 13:28:47 GMT -5
Omfg. I have to clean off my keyboard now. Remind me never to drink an iced latte when reading this fic.
Perfect combination of humor and mockery. Love it!
One thing I noticed though... You mentioned it's in Third Person, when it's actually in First Person POV. There seem to be a few POV changes thrown in, but I'm not sure if that's intentional since several fics seem to like to do that (another source of annoyance, along with changing verb tenses).
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Post by perhapsormaybe on Jul 18, 2009 19:05:32 GMT -5
*laughs* You're right, I got my tenses mixed up...then when I first noticed that half way through I changed tenses, I was going to keep it that badly on purpose...then I fixed some of it but not all of it. The intent wasn't on purpose, but looking back on it...it fits.
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Post by Omni-X on Dec 9, 2009 2:34:43 GMT -5
I need a compass im so lost >.< it may be cuz its 1:30 am or im running on like 2 hours of sleep but i seriously read that like 23 times to make sense of it lol
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Post by perhapsormaybe on Dec 9, 2009 13:30:07 GMT -5
Well, it's not intended to make sense. It's just me making fun of bad fanfics and the storylines that EVERYONE seems to write (to different degrees of success).
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